look strong, but deep inside im fragile

hurm, xtahu nak cakap ape. 
sejak dr petang td aku rse hati ni x benti2 menangis n merintih. 
bnyak mnde yang aku pk esp my studies. 
sempat ke nak habiskan semua subjects tu in this one month or 4 weeks time ?!?!? 
boleh ke aku join shabat2 aku yang akan ke klang nanti !?!? 
just thinking bout it make me worried and my heart ache so much. 
the only diff is that im not crying, either the tears wont come out anymore or i just try my best to hold it.
and now i started to blame myself to the point that i cant focus on my studies.
believe it or not, since aku dapat tahu yang aku xlepas, xpernah sekali pun air mata ni jatuh.
mungkin sebab aku dah expect akan kne supple ?!?!?!
takut plak kalau2 aku akan mengalami depressi yg x di jangka. huhu

sekarang ni lah baru rse bertapa susahnye supple.
mmg x dinafikan yang 2nd year punya subject bg aku susah.
more to memorise things/facts and a lots of new terms learnt esp pathology.
sgt memerlukan imaginasi yang tggi untuk mengingat.
td pg ade kelas parasitology with prof.suresh.
as usual his words really encouraging (ye ke ?!?!) and makes me think.
masuk kelas tu bukan rse macam masuk kelas parasit biasa tapi itu KELAS MOTIVASI
he personally said that if any of you feel down/depress just knock his room and for sure you will get free-of-charge motivation. XD


thanx pd korang2 yang concern pasal aku.
tnya aku ok ke x. realitinya aku x tahu ape yang aku rse.
nak kata ok pun x juga, nak kata x ok pun salah aku.
korang suruh aku nangis puas2, tp aku x buat pun sebenarnya.
still holding the tears til now. :I <---try to smile here....


p/s :: maybe i need a shoulder to lean and words keep on encouraging me, so that aku x pk negatif sgt. or maybe i should cry ?!?!? 

congratulation people!!!!

and today
officially our results keluar
sgt gembira tgk sahabat2 handai lepas dgn jayanya
eventho' mine BAD.
this post is specially dedicated to you
SYIELA, PUTRI, IZZAH, PQA, HAFSAH and ARA
cause u girls rock!!!!!
all of u made it to 3rd year.
pray for me also k.


last but not least,
i love u all!!!!!


x dilupakan juga 
budak2 paling happening = HTF
pd yang lepas TAHNIAH, dan yang senasib mcm aku
jom kita sama2 hadapinya dan jumpa mereka kat klang. ok (?)


"lets together we struggle till the end cz this is what we chose at the first place."

p/s :: sekali lagi aku kne supplement, and yet it looks like i never learnt from the past. hope this time i still can make it thru like last years. do pray for me peeps. :))

s.e.r.a.b.u.t

assalamualaikum semua.
hari ini sgt penat sebab aku baru lepas kemas2 barang untuk check-out kolej.
alhamdulillah semua dah settle dan dah selamat pun sampai rumah.
tp x angkat brg2 lagi keluar dr kereta. huhu

s.e.r.a.b.u.t

ye, inilah yang aku rse sekarang
x tahu nak rse ape sebab banyak mnde yang aku pk dalm satu mase
dengan result
dengan rumah
dengan perangai aku yang dah x tentu hala
mcm lost sebab menantikan result yang bakal keluar
one of the reason knpe aku balik awal instead of tggl kat kolej and waiting for the results.
better aku balik n receive msg from dean office
kalau boleh aku nak result tu keluar lambat2 lagi.
hahaha. sebab x sanggup ooo nak hadapai kenyataan
aku hanya mampu berdoa je skrg ni.

aku sgt berfikiran negative sekrg ni.
mcm mne kalau aku x...............hurm.
ramai org kata MBBS susah, tp hakikatnya ko kne rajin tuk mnjdikannya senang.
itu ape yang aku rse. 
so, kalau keputusan tu mcm tu maknanya ko manusia yang malas tuk mncapai kejayaan
aku rasa mcm dah membebl panjang je
sebab ble bce balik mcm tunggang terbalik je ayat aku. ahaha


actually nak hupdate sal MUNUS 2011
yang aku join baru2 ni kat kolej.
collaboration bet. MALAYA UNIVERSITI and NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE.
ni aku akan updtae untuk nex post seklai dgn gambar.
ok. wassalam.


p/s :: sangat cuak tggu result. :((  Ya ALLAH, aku redha dengan keputusan. insyaALLAH. 

exam mode :: off + "lu langsi lu mati"

semalam hari last exam aku
xtahu nak rasa apa dan nak kata apa.
mungkin aku x patut kata "im ready for supple, AGAIN!!!!"
but, still hope for the best after putting that effort.
i dont know wether that effort worth it for me to pass or not.
just pray and tawakkal.
only ALLAH knows the BEST.


selesai je exam habis,
x pasal2 aku kena settlekan hal ambil number fon batchmates aku.
ni perkara paling malang aku pernah buat.
at the end of the day, i manage to get ALL of it except 3/4 people after asking SOOOOO many people. =.=''

*for those yg x bagi number tu, im so sorry. didnt you guys heard the announcement (?)

what i learned from this is, COOPERATION.
next time if sumone need you to respond or listen to them.
just do it!!!! (peringatan untuk diri sendiri juga).


plan to go for an outing after exam.
tapi....... xde duet. TT___TT
so duduk je kat bilik diam2 kemas barang yang x perlu.
ada juga dorang ajak g mandi sungai tapi plan nak main v0lley for the last time
dengan mereka2 yang dah nak graduate tu. huhu

(mesti aku akan rindu mereka semua. huhu)

then, malam decide balik rumah.
malas nak tggu lama2 kat kolej tu.


at first, ingat x dapat nak enjoy post-exam.
tapi last2, my brother called me after maghrib
ajak pergi tgk wayang
dia belanja la kan. aku xde fulus laaaaaaaaaaaa
dgn sepantas kilatnya aku balik dr kolej.
igt nak pergi tgk kt jusco bukit tinggi je.
tapi ngupe2nya pergi tgk kt sunway pyramid.
macam ape je, sebab balik dr kolej lalu situ gak td. hahaha
nak tahu x aku tgk cite ape?!?!?!!? hehe
jeng...jeng....jeng.... 

ni lah cerita yang aku tgk. ade SAM!!!!

kalau korang nak tahu,
cerita ni aku tgk maseh panas lagi.
xpernah pergi tgk wayang yg patutnya esok keluar tp malam tu aku dah tgk. wee~
cerita ni seyes $#!+ best gila action and dialog. 
nampak mmg macam betul2 diorang ni mafia la.
tp slang kelantan tu x leh bla. haha.
(kagum sam cakap thailand) *wink wink
dan paling x sangka, rupa-rupanya cerita ni arahan FARID KAMIL. 
aku suggestkan korang pergi la tgk. supportla cerita melayu ni. hehe



p/s :: bila dah tgk cerita ni, x sabar pula mahu tgk KL GANGSTER. 

haven't felt like this for so long

today,
in the evening, went for riadah as usual
to play volleyball after a long day studying.
and again today,
they BULLIED me!!!!!!

yesterday they did it, and so as today.
but today quite cruel as they treat me like a junior whose cant perform well in playing volley.
with harsh word and high voice.
really gave me a goosebumps and the tears almost come out. wooo~
tried to act COOL, because thats who i am. hahaha
i know they said it just for fun, but it really made me scared of you people!!!!
next time, you guys still can do it but pls dont keep on attacking me and give me a fright.
how am i suppose to PERFORM well if u guys keep on finding my mistake.

(macam la gua ni hebat sgt main volley nak perform bagai.haha)


who are this people!?!?!?

they are just ordinary ppl who think they are good in playing volley
but in reality they are really GOOD <---personal opinion. hehe
NO HARD FEELING ok. pfffttttttt
still HAPPY b'coz u guys help me from feel stress. haha


p/s :: bukan marah korang tapi cuma nak bgtahu jangan buat lagi. sgt rasa cuak, ini serius. with the words during asrama keluar, when the seniors bullying juniors.